Life has changed so much over the past 4yrs....

The kids asked tonight to watch the videos from when they were born. It really makes me sad, not just the fact my babies are growing up. But how happy our family was, or how happy I thought it was. I see both my parents, married and laughing. All the family get togethers.. I was watching a part of Charlie's video and it brought me to tears. It was my brother and sister-in-law playing with Charlie and spinning him around. And they aren't really apart of our lives, my nephew only see's me a couple of times a year and they live down the street from my dad and stepmom. Tonight he has a school program and we weren't even invited. It truely breaks my heart. I so want a relationship with him, and him to know and play and visit with his cousins. It makes it harder I think since Craig is an only child and he is all we will ever have. But it bothers me that Charlie and Alison only have one cousin and they don't get to see him or have the relationship with their Uncle and Aunt. But on the other hand, I have a super relationship with my new stepbrother and his girlfriend... And my best friend and her husband are like Aunt and Uncle to my kids and they even call them that. I just so miss the family that was, I miss my cousin Micah and my grandfather all that have passed away. But I love my stepmom Paula... she is wonderful and I am truely blesed.